What is Love Language?

WHAT IS LOVE LANGUAGE?
People often say: "Eyes are the window to the soul", it is true. But it is also necessary to see that: "Speech is the gateway to human personality". The correct speech according to the "right language", according to the "loving language" of the Buddha is the message of love and wisdom.

Loving language is true speech: Sincere words such as not lying, not saying divisive words, not saying bad words and not saying fake words are all good qualities of sincerity that make the listener believe. think and love.

Kind words are the words of kindness
Words that come from a compassionate heart, the content itself has a persuasive power to warm the listener's heart such as praise, encouragement, consolation, praise, and skillful refusal. sincere analysis. Those words bring a good result to the work because they are words of kindness. Kind words often carry respect, tolerance and tolerance, not envious of others.

In the Ka-Aham Sutra, the Buddha once advised his disciples to think before speaking, saying: "If I don't like being deceived by others, neither do others. So why lie to others? If we don't like others to separate from friends, neither do other people. So why separate the friends of others? If we don't like others to speak harshly, neither do other people. So why insult others? If we don't like people who talk nonsense, neither do other people. So, why do we speak sarcastic words to people? Therefore, towards others, we should not speak deceitful, slanderous, fabricated, or cruel words."

Loving language is speech for the benefit of others
Speaking for the benefit of others is to create convenience in the lives of others, bring joy and happiness to them, and make their souls peaceful and serene. However, speaking for the benefit of others is not easy because people are often heavy on self-grasping, so they often do not want others to be better than themselves, do not want others to benefit more than themselves physically and mentally. Speaking for the benefit of others is not only expressed in Loving Speech, but also in Loi practicing the Dharma, which is also one of the Four Noble Truths that the Buddha explained. People who can speak words for the benefit of others need to know how to destroy the "self", that is, to eliminate the "me" and "mine", must have a spirit of no-self before all things and phenomena. .

Kind words are words of encouragement
Words of encouragement are words of merit and wisdom that make people accomplish merit through their words, deeds, and even thoughts. To speak good words is to speak with a compassionate mind to encourage and encourage others to do good and good deeds. Saying good words is to promote progressive development, promote the diligent practice of others or of an entire group or movement. The speaker of the words of encouragement needs to equip himself with the necessary knowledge about the socio-ethical viewpoints in general and the religious-ethical point of view, and when expressing, the speaker must have a convincing speaking style and leadership. his thinking.

Loving language is the speech of a pure mind
Loving language is speech that is not deceiving, not lying, not deceitful, not exaggerated, not exaggerated, not flattered, not flattered, not divisive. And by having a pure mind, towards good, those who speak loving-kindness often show the four immeasurable minds: loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Therefore, the words of the pure mind easily persuade and tame the hearts of the listeners.

People often say: "The eyes are the windows to the soul", it is true. But it is also necessary to see that: "Speech is the gateway to human personality". The correct speech according to the "right language", according to the "loving language" of the Buddha is the message of love and wisdom (Illustration image. Source: Internet)

Attitude when speaking and nuances of speech
In the teachings on Right Speech in the Noble Eightfold Path, on Loving Speech in the Four Courts of Law…when talking about loving speech, the Buddha mentioned how to speak words in the right way. Righteousness here includes the content of speech and attitudes, facial expressions, gestures when speaking and even nuances of the voice.

To speak lovingly is to speak with sincerity, humility and respect for those who hear you speak
The same job, for example, if you need to ask your subordinates to do it, if you say it with respect to your subordinates, the listeners will respect and execute it comfortably and enthusiastically, the job will be convenient. If we speak with a commanding, bossy, condescending and condescending tone, the person doing it will be uncomfortable, uncomfortable, the work done may be less convenient and less effective, even the job will come to an end. unsuccessful. When asking another person to help you with something, whether that person is a superior, a subordinate, a friend or a child, you must speak with a humble and respectful attitude. For young children, it is even more important to respect when asking them to do something, even if it is very small, to give a toothpick, a cup of water, because we are the one who has to ask for someone else's help. That is the attitude when speaking of a person studying Buddhism.

To speak in love language is to speak with words, the voice is soft, gentle, and pleasing to the ear, creating a feeling of affection and comfort for the listener.
Even the sweet, lingering words that until no longer talk, it leaves a good impression in the listener's memory. The same thing, if we say it with gentle and gentle words, the listener will happily do it, or accompany us comfortably in our work, leaving a good impression on the listener, with partners or with co-collaborators, the work will be successful. This needs to be done and maintained not only in social relations in general but also in family relationships such as father and son, brothers and wife. Especially in the husband and wife relationship, the husband and wife's words to each other should be gentle and gentle, which leads to peace in life, stability in long-term happiness.

On the contrary, words that are not pleasing to the ear, are not gentle, or are scowling often show disrespect for each other, which leads to emotional discomfort, lack of affection, poor relationships, and less successful work. . It should be clear that with the same content of the same speech, but with different tones of voice, either gentle, respectful or harsh, will bring two different work results. Therefore, speaking Ai language is speaking with an open attitude, easily convincing the listener, making it easy for the listener to do the things they want to be done.

Excerpted from the book Ten Good Practices and the Way to Eliminate Vocabulary